What concerns you the most? What do you generally worry about?
Provision? Safety? Ability?
Most people live their lives trying to reduce worry as much as possible. We pay great amounts of money to eliminate concerns. This is understandable. Worrying or concerning ourselves about anything takes up time and energy, both of which are limited resources. It is then beneficial to cultivate an environment that is conducive to lessening our concerns about our personal provision, our individual safety, and our particular ability.
These three elements come first above anything else as priorities in our mind. This is the order in which human beings concern themselves.
– Provision –
As creatures of nature, it is demanded that we find some way, any way, to provide for our existence. This is our inherent drive, the thing that takes top priority. It is the need that we fill first.
– Safety –
We all possess the need to feel safe. This includes not only physical safety but emotional and mental as well. The whole point of feeling safe is so that we don’t have to feel like we’re in a constant battle. It is only after knowing we are safe that we might concern ourselves with more advanced opportunities.
– Ability –
This concern is tied distinctly to identity. Humans are concerned with this because much of our society’s definition of success is linked to personal ability. How capable you think you are can largely determine the course of your life. This comes after the more basic concerns, but it is a worry that is important to be ameliorated if you want to be your best.
Concern for our own safety and the safety of others can be the largest factor in our ability to becoming the best version of ourselves. For I believe that feeling you are safe is a fundamental requirement to maintain the state of being at your best.
First off, you won’t be able to concern yourself with being at your best if you are too busy concerned about defending yourself. And you can’t focus on doing your best work if you are distracted by real or imagined mental, emotional, or physical dangers.
For you to be at your best there must be a network of people around you that are willing to enhance and embrace your truest and highest state of being.
As I’ve stated before, the people in your life are the key to your success. Hang around the people that make you feel like being your best. Associate with the people that make you feel safe to be yourself, unfiltered and uninhibited.
We build and inherit defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from strange people and places that could pose a threat. But you cannot be creative in a defensive state. This is the reason why you must find your tribe. Recognize and determine who you can trust to guard the circle of safety.
You will know them because they are the ones you don’t have to be defended against, but rather who you will be defended by.
It begins with you. The moment you decide to honor someone by allowing them to dare to be themselves without danger of rejection and opposition is the moment you have granted them the opportunity to express their best. It takes time to strengthen the circle of safety between individuals (much less a group). But the more consistent you are, the more defenses will come down. Only then does everyone within the circle have the opportunity to unlock their true potential.
Are you creating an environment for those around you to feel safe? Or are you rejecting and opposing them? Who in your life allows you to bring out your best by cultivating a circle of safety? What steps can you take to increase and strengthen your circle so you don’t spend so much time and energy in a defensive state?